Genius Dr. Computer

One day, Banta complained to Santa, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
Santa said, "Don`t bother. There`s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker & cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it and it only costs Rs.500."
Banta figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the Rs.500. The computer started making some noise and the various lights started flashing.
After a brief pause, outpopped a small slip of paper which read: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks".
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. So Banta decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the Rs.500. The machine again made the usual noises and printed out the following analysis:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren`t yours. Get a lawyer.
And if you don`t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.