The Salesman

A salesman checked into a futuristic hotel. Realizing he needed a Haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.'
Sceptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures, $20.00.'
'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.'
The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off. With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit... This now had a button sewn on the end.

A Story

My friend lives in Delhi ... One day he went to Gurgaon to visit his
uncle for some days. One evening he and some other of my college
friendswent to Amit's home for a movie. He had so much fun that he forgot that it
wasvery late. He reached Gurgaon around midnight.... ..

He had to walk about a mile from where his friend dropped him.... As he
waswalking alone, he could sense that the night felt very creepy as it was
sodark. While walking, he was astonished to see an old creepy looking guy
selling some books. It was a very unusual thing to see a thing like
that..... It got the shivers on him when he noticed that da old guy is
unusually pale and staring at him...
The old guy said "Son why don't you get a book...it would keep you
company". Then he did something which he would regret for the rest of
his
life .........

My friend started to act brave & thought why not & had a look at his
collection.. he noticed that all the books were related to supernatural
activities.. .but he found one that was very interesting. So he asked
the
old man "how much is it?"....

The old guy replied, "Well son...this is an interesting book...it's
only
for Rs 250. "

My friend was shocked and said "but...but.. .it's expensive"

This time the old man stared which freaked my friend. My friend quickly
checked all his pockets & found Rs.200 & said "This is all
I hav e." The old guy replied "It's OK son ...you can have the book
for that price"

As ! my friend was just about to run for home...the old man called
back & said "Son ... whatever happen, you don't ever flip the book
to it's last page... remember these words or you would regret
it...!!!!!"

My friend nodded and never looked back ... Reaching home...he
quickly asked his Uncle whether there was any new old book seller
nearby? The Uncle replied "not that I know of but ...we've heard that
there's 1 old man comes once in a while during full moon nights but
heard
that there is something creepy about it...why son?"

My friend freaked out... he told his uncle "nothing uncle...just
asking". He started reading the book with the old man's words on
his mind. At night, 2 o'clock , as he went to bed, a gush of wind blew
which
chilled him up to his bones. At that glimpse, he noticed the wind had
blown
the pages to its last page. He remembered what the old man has said!
But we
humans tend to have the tendency to know. Out of curiosity, he flipped
to
the last page & fainted...

What he saw at the last page is stated below:
I too advise you not to go further down
Specially if you have a weak heart, I WARN YOU ......... ......









































.
Original price:-- Rs. 20/-
Promotional price:-- Rs. 10/-

A few nice brain teasers

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wo nderful dinner together. How can this be?

3. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

4. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.


ANSWERS:

1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

2. The woman is a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.

3. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!

4. The letter "e" - the most common letter in the English language - is missing from the entire paragraph!

Programmer

The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.
The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!"

The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."

Microsoft Engineer

A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem.
The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination."

The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive."

The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem."

Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."