संता: एक लड़की सड़क में अकेली जा रही थी! सामने से मैं आ रहा था जब हम दोनों एक दूसरे के सामने पहुंचे तो मैंने लड़की को रास्ता दे दिया!
बंता: सारे तुम्हारे जैसे बेब्कुफ़ नहीं होते!
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संता: मैंने सब्जी वाले से प्याज का रेट पूछा तो वो बोला पहले पांच रूपये दो फिर बताऊंगा!
बंता: अच्छा फिर क्या हुआ?
संता: पहले पांच रूपये दो फिर बताऊंगा!
Teacher: You call your mother as mum. What will you call your mother's younger sister and elder sister?
Santa: So simple, I will call them minimum and maximum.
Jeeto : Are you sure you love me and no one else?
Santa : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday!
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say that she's no good!
English Teacher : Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid:" Yeah , once my sister said she has missed one ,my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack and our driver ran away."
Santa: Banta! There's a bomb in my garden!
Banta: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
After finishing MBBS Santa started his practice. He checked first patient`s eyes, tongue and ears with a torch and finally says : Torch is okay.
Santa: Doctor! My son swallowed a key!
Doctor: When?
Santa: Three months ago
Dr: What were you doing till now?
Santa: We were using aduplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Santa: We lost the duplicate key!
Santa: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
Banta: Who ?
Santa: I don't know how she got my number. She interrupts whenever I call someone and says "Please recharge your card."
Exams are like girl friends - Too many questions - Difficult to understand - More explanation is needed - Result is always fail!
God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining his subordinates...
"Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10 deers there should be a lion. Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension...
And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes...
And here is South America. I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests... So you see fellows, everything should be in balance.
One of the angels asked... "God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?" God said....... "Ahah...that is the crown piece of all. "INDIA", my most precious creation. It has understanding and friendly people. Sparkling streams, serene mountains. A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live. Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold...
The angel was quite surprised "But god you said everything should be in balance."
God replied - "Look at the neighbours, I gave them."
