Some SMS Jokes

Teacher: You call your mother as mum. What will you call your mother's younger sister and elder sister?
Santa: So simple, I will call them minimum and maximum.

Jeeto : Are you sure you love me and no one else?
Santa : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday!

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say that she's no good!

English Teacher : Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid:" Yeah , once my sister said she has missed one ,my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack and our driver ran away."

Santa: Banta! There's a bomb in my garden!
Banta: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.

After finishing MBBS Santa started his practice. He checked first patient`s eyes, tongue and ears with a torch and finally says : Torch is okay.

Santa: Doctor! My son swallowed a key!
Doctor: When?
Santa: Three months ago
Dr: What were you doing till now?
Santa: We were using aduplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Santa: We lost the duplicate key!

Santa: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
Banta: Who ?
Santa: I don't know how she got my number. She interrupts whenever I call someone and says "Please recharge your card."

Exams are like girl friends - Too many questions - Difficult to understand - More explanation is needed - Result is always fail!

Phantom Strikes Again

The teacher comes into the classroom to find `SHIT` written on the blackboard. The teacher gets very furious on reading it. However, the experience got the better of her and she tries to address the problem in a cool fashion.
She goes, "We are going to take care of this on the honour system. We are all going to shut our eyes while I count up to hundred, and when we open the eyes, I want that to be erased."
They all close their eyes and she counts. Piter-patter. "One hundred!"
They open their eyes and look. On the floor below the blackboard is a fresh pile of shit, and chalked above it is "The Phantom strikes again!".

Logical n Legal .....:)

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "

Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"

Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."